Local man gets Snake bit

  Lifelong resident of Jackson county, Shorty Hogan, gets bit by rattlesnake. Luckily, Shorty’s lifelong friend, Horace Johnson, just happened to hear Shorty hollerin’ …  6 miles away. When the nascar race was over on TV … he drove down to Shorty’s house  … got out of his truck … and walked down to the creek .. where the hollering’ was coming from .. which was about a 100 yard walk. Horace  was hollering’ back, .. “Alright, Alright .. I’m coming damn-it”! .. When he gets to Shorty, he finds’em laying on the creekbank .. Horace greets Shorty with a … “What the hell do you want”? … Shorty replys, “Crook, I fell asleep right by the fireplace … then must’ve rolled over … when I woke up … this new wooden leg was on fire … so I ran down here and stuck it in the creek. Horace replied, “And you got me up for this”!  … Shorty said, “Naw, a rattlers’ got me by the ass” .. Horace walked over to where he could see.. then said,  “Yep .. that’s a big’en”. The 12’ , 36 button “Rattler” had a tail-hold around an oak root and was pullin’ in one direction and Shorty was pullin’ in the other. Horace said, “I’ll get s stick and knock’em off … he looked around .. did not find one .. and said, “ I’ll be right back … I’m gonna go get a shovel out of my truck” .. Shorty replied, “Well hurry up you ole-son-of-bitch”. Horace returned in about 15  minutes and knocked’ that snake right behind the head … kill’em deadered hell .. then grapped Shorty up under the arm … drag’em up to his pick-up ..  tossed’em in the back .. then threw the shovel in there on top of’em saying, “Here, hold this !” .. then slams the tail-gate. Horace takes off threw the pasture like he’s drag-racing ..  Shorty and the shovel are all bouncing around… and rushes Shorty up to Clyde ’s gas station (the Fina station at exit 129 ..  where the old hometown boys hang-out). When Clyde saw’em .. he said .. “one of ya’ll gonna have to cut them “X’s” on them toothmarks .. and suck that poison out”!  … well, about three of ‘em immedially had to go check their chickens .. which left six of’em … Horace hollers out … “Well, I’m the one that went down there and knocked the snake off his ass .. and if the son-of-bitch don’t make .. I’ll bury’em .. Its ya’ll turn to do something ..!” … which left Clyde , John Holder, Tip, Robert, and Mosley. Clyde was ruled-out immedially, cause everyone knew he wouldn’t do it  … John Holder suddenly had to go on a wrecker-call … Mosley had been drinkin’ and couldn’t stop laughing’ … which left Tip and Robert  … so Tip decided it was gonna be Robert.  Well, Robert had been drinkin’ …  plus taking his “nut-pills” all day … and actually did not even know he was involved .. caused he’d been out listening to the dial-tone at the pay-phone by the road for the past two hours. So tip goes and gets Robert and is telling him how its up to him to save Shorty’s life. Robert is an older small-frame gentleman we found living around the intersection in abandoned cars, boxes, etc.  … after hanging around a good while .. Tip let’em move into his camper with him .. which was parked behind the old gas station.

            By this time Shorty’s ass had swollen-up so much that it had busted the rear out of his pants … Tip runs and gets some soap and shaves Shorty’s left bun .. claiming  it was the least he could do for ole Robert .. but Robert was back out on the pay-phone again.. So Clyde walks to the back of the station … comes back out with a Super Industrial Maximum Powered Shop Vac. .. Horace pulls out his pocket knife .. cuts “x” s  on the fang-marks .. and Clyde fires’ up that Super-Vac.. Clyde was holding the hose at the back of the opened tail-gate … and the vacuum sucks Shorty’s ass to that hose from three feet away … Horace yanks the power cord .. to get the pressure off .. so they can line the hose up with the “x” marks .. then plugs it back-in ….they leave the machine on till Shorty’s head started caving in  .. then pulled the plug … Shorty’s life was saved .. they played poker a couple hours .. then everybody went home to get some sleep and awake another day for life in Jackson County, Georgia.

this has been Clete Meaders - reporting from Jackson County, Georgia